Chase HQ [C64]

chase_hq_coverYou prefer games with a sluggish frame rate? And you love it when the graphics look like someone secretly exchanged your Commodore 64 for a Spectrum? Then Chase HQ on the C64 is truly a game for you. Trust me, you won’t be disappointed.

 

Wow, what a game! Words can’t describe how awesome Chase HQ on the C64 is. A true masterpiece… yes, a masterpiece in regards of having a freaking low frame rate, horrible visuals and utterly annoying sound.

The goal of the game is to chase down criminals on a highway and bring their cars to a halt by bumping into them. Sounds exciting? It actually does, and the arcade game was indeed exciting. Problem is, this is the C64 port, and it’s just awful (in case you haven’t found out by now). And not just the visuals or the sound, but everything. The biggest letdown is the frame rate, though. It’s just unintentionally funny when you’re speeding down the highway at 250 mph, and the frame rate gives you the feeling you’re about to be overtaken by someone on a pushbike.

The only cool thing, apart from the title screen, is the sound of your police siren, but even that will get on your nerves after a minute or two.

Screenshots (click to enlarge)

 

While playing Chase HQ I had a déjà vu. And then I remembered playing Hard Drivin’ some time ago (which you can read here). Both games have striking similarities (including those screeching tyres, brrr). But to be honest, nothing can beat Hard Drivin’ in terms of crappiness on the C64, not even this game.

And if you’re really hardcore you watch the video below, which must truly be one of the most boring gameplay videos I’ve ever recorded… no, wait. Let me start over again: (…) which must truly be one of the most boring gameplay videos ever recorded, in the history of mankind.

But be warned, you’ll never get those six and a half minutes back, never, ever!  [cue evil laugh] Alternatively, you could just watch paint dry, which would have the same effect.

 

 

And I do realise this article is all over the place, but hey, so is Chase HQ. But seriously, what a waste. It could’ve been a cool racer on the C64, but instead we got some half-baked snoozefest. But behold, I’ve heard good things about the Spectrum port, you know. It’s supposed to be… fast!

picture2Whot Bob sez
Aaaaaaaargh. I watched dat video until da bitter end. I feel so old now, damn it! And dat game is crap. Nah, it’s more dan dat, it’s crappy crap!

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8 thoughts on “Chase HQ [C64]

  1. Pingback: Chase HQ on the ZX Spectrum | The Retro Years

  2. The sense of speed in that video is… overwhelming! 🙂 And man, the sounds. That would drive humans mad, but I get the feeling that somewhere, dogs are howling whenever this thing comes on. So long as I could play without the sound on, yes, this would still be better than Hard Drivin’.

    • Someone could introduce those games as ‘Anti Anger Management’ simulators.

      Just imagine the ad for those games:
      Hey, you wanna get really mad? Play one of our ‘AAM’ sims, formerly known as ‘Hard Drivin’ and ‘Chase HQ’.

    • ‘A safer way to road rage, without the real violence and prison sentences that will likely arise.’ Yes, the advertising is pure gold! Then again, the audio would likely have the reverse effect, and people would leave actually looking for other cars to run into, just to drown out that noise! That awful noise! … I’m okay. Really. No problem.

      • Thinking about it, they could use those games as punishment for minor offences.
        What, you were shoplifting? But don’t you know you can get up to 10 hours of playing Chase HQ for that?

    • Yup, not everything was golden back in the day, there were a lot of crappy games on the C64. Thing is, apart from Chase H.Q. and Hard Drivin’, I only write about games I personally enjoyed. But sometimes it’s just too tempting to publish a post about a bad game, and if it’s only for a change. That’s when I temporarily have to join the dark site.

      And thanks for stopping by, much appreciated 🙂

  3. Pingback: Retro Wars Evolved? | RetroReactiv8

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